As Tammy Wynette sang, “Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman.” And I don’t want to stand by my man, because he’s thinner than I am. It’s like those Slimquick commercials: a rotund couple sits on the sofa. The man has a bowl of chips on his lap. The woman tells us that her husband just started drinking diet soda, and lost 17 pounds. She’s been drinking nothing but water for a year, and…nothing.
Why, why, why can men just barely start doing exercise or eating more salad, and they can fit into their old pants; but when we skip breakfast and eat 1 little chocolate covered diet granola bar for lunch and splurge on exactly four raisins, and cannot get the sound of Billy Blanks out of our heads (“Go! Work it! Go! Work it!”) and feel guilty over having a skinny latte with Splenda and three weeks later, exhausted, we can proudly point to a two pound weight loss?
I don’t know if it’s hormones or metabolism or age, but I’m sick of it. And the weight is hard enough- I’m going through peri-menopause. Which means hot flashes and moodiness coupled with cramps and PMS, and could continue for the next seven years. Can’t my body just pick one or the other? Do I have to have both? Or could I at least get skinny while the hormones duke it out?
But talking to my son lately made me realize that men don’t have a bed of roses either. Recently a men’s group at our church decided to go coed. And that bummed him out big time. “Mom,” he said, “why is it that every time guys get to do something together, a girl decides to crowd in?” I had the typical response ready- that’s the price you pay to live in a patriarchal society, etc., etc., but then I thought about it. I wouldn’t want to tell my daughter that there was anything she couldn’t do, but should there be places or groups she shouldn’t try to join?
Does “For Men Only” automatically make it chauvinistic? I had more male friends than female growing up, and I’m very comfortable with the company of men. But I also know that the very air changes when a man walks into a group of women. It changes the dynamic. And there are times when I just like talking to women. Ain’t nobody gonna squawk if there’s a sign on the door that says For Women Only. Are men any less deserving?
My son said it wasn’t just being invaded. It was that he thought he’d get blasted for thinking it sucked. I’m going to suggest that he start a guy’s club, and hang up a big NO GIRLS sign. I think the females of the world can take it. Heck, I’ll even jeopardize my diet and make them snacks.