Harlequin, You Make Me Wonder

You make me wonder how in one month you can go from OH YEAH!




To OH, NO!





To Oh, GOD, no.







Mystery, indeed.

Hey There...

How YOU doin'? I was thinking maybe we could check out the life raft on this tub. You bring them little crackers with the cheese- not the fish eggs, they're nasty- and I'll grab a bottle of champers. Meet ya there!

Tell Me The Truth

Did anyone else see this and hear, "YOUNG MAN! There's no need to feel down...it's fun to stay at the YMCA!"

Holiday Snark Trifecta

Two of the best blogesses I know, Missie of More of a Woman and Beth from StarvingWriteNow are doing a three-way with me. Take that how you will.

Ah, the holidays at Harlequin headquarters…

A Daddy for Christmas

Missie: We're all going to have a Merry Christmas because this year, Daddy is on the right meds.

Beth: "And then, little Susie plunged the star into daddy's chest, killing him instantly. Christmas night, the family dined well.. and had plenty of leftovers for New Year's."

Robyn: Does anyone else get the feeling that once she puts the star on the tree the mother ship is going to zap him up?

The Christmas She Always Wanted

Robyn: Take your time opening your presents, honey. Mommy and Daddy are going to…um, write thank-you notes to Santa.

Missie: She always wanted to leave her child alone under the tree opening presents while she runs off to be with the latest in a long line of studmuffins.

Beth: Mommy and Daddy are poised for flight just in case Little Satanic Sweetie doesn't like her gifts. (and btw, anyone else notice that Mommy's left leg is half the size of her right?)

The Italian’s Miracle Family

Missie: Somebody has spent a leeeetle too much time in the tanning bed.

Beth: Hello? HQ Art Department? What happened to the little girl's neck? That bowling ball head of hers is going to roll right off without it!

Robyn: Christmas just isn’t complete until you’ve impaled a toddler on the tree.

Follow the links for more holiday snark!

Lemme Guess

He's an 80's detective who had to save a murder witness from drowning when the mobsters broke into her house at night and chased her off a pier in her nightie and now he's trying to cop a feel, right?

Hey, it makes as much sense as swans living in the ocean.

The Mighty HQ Strikes Again

I love the HQ rack at the bookstore. It's a treasure trove of Saturday afternoon entertainment.

Montana Royalty

Otherwise known as: Subtlety is for Losers!

Bodyguard to the Bride

Maybe they should have included the actual bride in this one. I’m wondering if he’s looking for her or looking for a dressing room.

The Night Serpent

Is ‘night serpent’ a new euphemism for ‘trouser snake?’

The Desert King

And what do you know…one I like. The internet picture doesn’t do it justice. Look for it in a bookstore. I’d like a different hairstyle on him, but this cover is really pretty. It looks as if it’s done in watercolors; misty and iridescent. A somewhat classier throwback to the old clinch covers, it looks as lush and exotic as the title.

What? I can be nice, too, y’all. Geez.

Visions Of The Eighties Dance In My Head

OMG you guys! To the Max! I mean, like, it's totally bitchin', ya know?



Fer sure!

I Think I'd Re-title This...

...to Allergic to the Were-Chihuahua.

I Love It When A Man's Transparent

Okay, okay. Paranormals are just running out of ideas.



In the world of "The Sexth Sense," har har, the ghosts have apparently run out of people to haunt and are now trying to feel up the undead.

He’s Still Here

If you read my old blog, you know how impressed I am with this guy.

Oh, the joy! Such depth! Such layers! Such range! But, not content with merely posing wet and shirtless, he's branched out.


Shagged out after Vegas weekend

Ticked at tattoo artist who forgot to spell out ‘Mom’

Contemplating new agent who will insist on full facial in contract

Making sure female model’s abs aren’t better than his

Trying to finish photo shoot before six-pack of Coors Light catches up with him

Smugly triumphant because Robyn kind of likes this one

Surely Shakespeare in the park can't be far behind. Or at least a Will Farrell comedy.

The Mighty HQ: Fug or Fab?

Since she’s been taking over Snark Empress duties lately, I’ve asked Beth from StarvingWriteNow to cross-blog snark with me! We have to wonder at the bi-polar nature of the cover artists over HQ way. Some are really, really good. Others are...not so much. To wit:

Last Wolf Watching

Robyn: Don’t you just hate it when normal, intelligent women see a picture like this and get so bothered that they aren’t capable of rational thought and can’t speak except for words like WHOA and ACK and OH, BAYBA and have to keep themselves from licking the page? Yeah, I hate that, too.

Beth: WHOA. ACK. RRROWWRR! Like to get my hands on that six pack, baby! What? Oh, yes... (ahem!) Well, he's ripped like nobody's business, but the question is, what is going on with that feathered flippy hairdo?

In The Flesh

Robyn: Yes, he certainly is. But do you ever wonder if these guys speak like, say, Christian Siriano from Project Runway? Mr. Buff would meet you at the door and say, “Girl, is it raining? You look like a hot tranny mess. Come in. I just made lattes and they are fierce.”

Beth: LOL... you just know Mr. Buff's got some gold lame shirts in his closet. "Like, how do I hold this gun thingy again? Up? You sure? 'Cause it would look totally bitchen in my waistband. Where's my latte?"

What's your vote, Fug or Fab? For more covers, go over to StarvingWriteNow!

Romance’s Favorite Man

He does have a last name, but he doesn’t need it. When I think romance covers, I think of him.

Fabio.

He could be anything. A pirate;

A cowboy;

An Indian;

An alien.

He could be a migrant apple picker;

Stealer of Santa’s boots;

Barbie's Fantasy that Ken doesn't know about.

You could land a plane on his shiny, hairless chest-

But you couldn’t make him shave his legs.

And when you thought he had done it all, he made a generation of people beleef it was nah buttah.

But the thing I like most about Fabio- even though his cover days are long since over, he always takes the work, and the fans, seriously. But not himself. And he would have kicked total tool George Clooney’s behiney when the Sexy But Self-Important One insulted the ladies El Fab was lunching with.

There are good covers, and bad covers, and meh covers on the romance shelves. But there’s only one Fabio, and I’m not too proud to admit that I miss him.

Fabio would undoubtedly approve of my contest. Four more days- winner announced on Monday, June 2. Get your entries in!

He's Not That Into You

Ummm...ouch.

Desert Hearts



Do you think she snuck up there with a fake ankle injury or something? Because he's more interested in the horse than he is in her. She's managed to look all waifish, and have her legs going one way and her head twisted around the other, and he doesn't even want to touch her. It's like he's saying, "Lady, I'll give you a ride back to town. It doesn't mean I'm taking you to lunch."

My Lady...

...I can totally see down your dress.

Heave-and-Throb Tutorials

Oh, come on. You knew I'd get back to this eventually.

Blaze Wyndham



The guy in the back is thinking, "Mmm. Good placement, but she'll get uncomfortable if you keep holding her by her ribcage. Kills the mood. Set her down, that's right. Don't worry about the dress- even corsets melt away magically in these scenes. No grass stains, either. Nice use of hair product; no wind on earth could move that do of yours. But I simply must ask you, old boy- where exactly are your legs?"