Sunday, August 10, 2008

If This Is Hollywood's Idea Of Hot I Need To Poke A Stick In My Eyes

So I decided to find out what the fuss is with the Twilight books by Stephenie Meyer. I'm about halfway through the first one and...I don't get it. Seriously, I don't get it.

Granted, I am not exactly in the target audience. Teen angst ceased to thrill me about ten years ago, and there's only so much she likes him and he asked her to the prom and did he kiss you OMG! OMG! I can take. The main character finding interesting ways to bend the truth around her dad so she can go out with the 'bad boy' while still getting A's on her math tests and term papers gave me hives. Probably because my own daughter is about this age, and it started to scare the crap out of me.

I think these books are termed YA, and aimed there, so I don't think I can fairly compare it to vamp romance novels. But having read my fair share in the past five years, I can't help but think I've seen this all before. And I have, in...almost every vamp romance novel I've read in the past five years. Just take them out of their 30's and shove them in high school, and viola! Megahit.

The book isn't bad, per se, but it isn't new. And I don't think the movie is going to help matters for me. To wit:

Good Grief. Okay, really? This is what passes for hot these days? Yes, I know that the vamp, Edward, is supposed to be pale but this dude would put a fish's belly in the Artic in the winter to shame. Or the current state of my legs, take your pick. Sexy, tousled hair is one thing; small animal got caught in it is another. And Edward's described as having dark circles under his eyes, but I don't think that comes from L'Oreal eyeliner. I want to know what shade his lipstick is, though. I've got a dress that would look great with it.

What gets me is that actor played Cedric Diggory in the Harry Potter movies, and he was all kinds of cute. They had to actually work to make him look this bad. Considering that Edward is misogynistic in the extreme, moody, borderline stalkerish and takes emo to the horrifying limit, he'd have to be waaaay hotter than that to make me swoon.

Kids today. What are you gonna do?


StarvingWriteNow said...

I saw that cover; I was like, NO! Not Cedric!

Sigh... yes that series is HOT--we bought 8 copies of the newest book at the library and I have yet to actually see one--they've got like 40 holds on them. It's crazy.

I've never been much of a vamp fan--beyond Stoker's Dracula--so I don't get it either. I never wanted to read, much less see Tom Cruise as Lestat (euww!), for example...

Bernita said...

Don't mind me...I'm quietly throwing up in the corner.

Robyn said...

The book isn't horrible, Beth, and I shouldn't leave that impression. I just didn't see what warranted the furor.

Yes, Bernita. Imagine all that and teen emo angst too!

Alice said...

It's definitely not my favorite series and Breaking Dawn was the complete pits. Worst thing EVER.

The fellow who plays Edward looks much better in the trailer than on the cover of that magazine.

I can't remember at this moment (since I'm having a little drinky-poo) but have you read the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by JR Ward? I recommend them to just about everyone. Very hot. Very well written.

writtenwyrdd said...

I read Twilight. No interest in the follow ups or the movie. And that photo is awful. Basically, ditto what Bernita said.

writtenwyrdd said...

I have to add that the Black Dagger Brotherhood (JR Ward?) is very good for the series vampire romance novels. Better than Darkyn, Argeneau vampires, etc. Not knocking those other series, but this one is pretty good. Getting old with the six or seventh one, but what series can last that long without being. The. Same. Book. Again.

Missie said...

I'm holding back Bernita's hair while she upchucks in the corner. Then it's my turn.

p.s. how can you be that anemic looking of your main source of nourishment is blood?

Robyn said...

Alice, Written, I have read a few of the BDB books and I thought they were very good. I had to have chocolate nearby to get through all those Chrazy, Zstupid Sphellings, though.

Missie, I never thought of that, HEE! If anyone shouldn't look anemic, it's vamps, right?

writtenwyrdd said...

Yeah, upchucking over the stuhpid spehlings. Forgot about that.

Kimber An said...

It's not kids today. It's that book. I know plenty of wonderful teenagers.

I swear if I see another vampire novel I'm going to spew garlic. I mean, really, what in TARNATION IS SO SEXY ABOUT A BLOOD-SUCKING DEAD GUY???!!!!