Have You Noticed?

It seems wherever I go, I'll find a book rack, and there will be some romances on it. Gas stations, grocery stores, hotel lobbies, you name it. I've started to see romance everywhere.

Brick and mortar stores have HUGE sections of romance, of course, but have you seen WalMart lately? The ones here have a big, big selection- from HQ categories to single title. I like to think it's because the worse the world seems, the more you need Happy Ever After.

What do you think? Is there any one reason for the profusion of romances?

Don’t Try To Breathe My Rare Special Air

I got this letter the other day, from an earnest young woman named Katie. She said, “…we have just taken a closer look at your profile. It turns out you’re more special than any of us imagined!” I could have told her that.

She went on to plead with me to keep this all a secret, but you’re my special friends. I’m sure it will be all right. “There has existed for many years an exclusive association, a secret society, of some of the world’s most famous and powerful people. These include renowned actors and musicians, leading scientists and intellectuals, self-made entrepreneurs and artists, even some of the rare genuine astrologers and psychics.” Of course. Because those people HATE attention from the press.

This association has uncovered shockingly powerful secrets; that lead to prosperity, love, happiness, and total peace of mind. Secrets which they share only amongst themselves, and- what do you know? They analyzed my profile! Katie tells me that my hidden talents must be phenomenal for the members to select me!

I have been chosen to receive their book, Greatest Kept Secrets, absolutely free. How wonderful of them. And what happened for Katie can happen for me- she won when she gambled; she knew what other people were thinking; she started an incredibly successful business; she gained a photographic memory; and eliminated all addictions and bad habits.

Now, everyone wants to be her friend. She is the center of attention. But the best part? She is wanted by all men, including her husband. She, of course, has eyes only for him. She can play the piano and paint with no training, too! She can predict the future AND heal people. Goodness, but she must be busy. And I can certainly see why you’d want to keep healing disease to yourself.

When analyzing my profile, they discovered something else- I’m about to enter Cycle Two. That’s why the association is contacting me now. It’s all very exciting, but I’m afraid I shall have to pass. Why did they use the mail when they could have just contacted me telepathically? Sad waste of funds, that. Sorry, but I have standards, people.

There's Something A Little Freaky Here

I just don't understand politics these days. Even with four-star scandals, romantic peccadilloes, and late night comic routines there used to be a certain respect for the presidency. Now?


Sarah Palin Action Figure!




John McCain Plushie!



Half Naked Soap Opera Stars in Obama Underwear!





I will admit that I kind of want the Sarah Palin action figure. But honestly, why all the debates and concerns over experience and foreign policy and Presidential Form when we the people think this is the way to put forward a candidate for the highest office in the land?

And is that actress on the right holding basketballs? Just asking.

Get Off My Back!

You have no power over me, evil Coke fairy!

Just a quick note to celebrate that I have been clean and sober, NO COCA COLA, for 2 weeks.

And my family deserves whatever their hearts desire for living with an angry, snarling, sugar-deprived demon.

Now if I could just do the same with brownies...

Happy Friday!

I've started a new job, and so have been rather busy this week. I'll leave you with this:

It's That Time Again!

There's not much time until the frenzy of Christmas shopping begins, so I thought I'd get a jump on it from my favorite gift extravaganza, The Harriet Carter Catalog.

A laser alarm clock, how fun! And practical. The alarm won't shut off until you hit the bullseye. Since most people can't even see until a shower and a cup of coffee, you're sure to be familiar with your neighbors when they come a knockin'!

Of course, Christmastime can also mean colds and flu. This clever and attractive tissue box makes sneezes and wheezes galore when dispensing your Kleenex! You'll be so comforted in your illness when mocked by fake respiratory distress.

Don't forget the holiday parties! The Season of Love and Giving will shine when your guests can help themselves to hors d'oerves by removing a spike impaled in a tiny body.

With all these bargains, you're sure to have a little change leftover for yourself. When you put your money in this fanny pack, it lets you know the deposit has been made by a cacophony of toots! There's just no better way to say, "I'm worth it!"

Only 100 shopping days left!

I Have A Question...

...about Michael Kors' Spring 2009 collection. Why does the guy who designed these:

have the right to tell Project Runway contestants they have no taste?

Authors Behaving Criminally

ABC news had this story yesterday morning. It concerns a young 21-year-old woman, Alex Firestone, who has basically had to be mom for her 5 siblings, one of them autistic, for the last SEVEN YEARS. She did this because her mother went on a short trip, and never returned. Her mother also conveniently cleaned out the family's bank account before she left. Alex never heard from her mother again.

She took a chance on an internet search, knowing that her mom was a struggling author. She typed in the title of one of her mom's old stories, and there popped up a site for romance author Sandee McCann. New name, same picture. Her mom, now going by Sandee, had apparently struck up a friendship with some man in England, and moved in with him. She started a fairly successful career as a romance novelist under the new name.

Sandee McCann claims that the man she left, Alex's stepfather and the father of her other five children, was abusive and controlling, and she had no choice but to leave. She says that she tried multiple times to contact her children, but her ex blocked all her attempts to communicate.

Alex disputes that theory, saying that she had quit school to take care of her siblings and was home all day. She was the one who picked up the daily mail, and never once got a letter or card from Sandee.

Now that you're up to speed, here's my question: Many of those who left comments on the ABC website wanted everyone to boycott Sandee McCann's books. In fairness, I don't know any of these people. I know that abused spouses go through terrible soul-destroying madness, but I have serious doubts about Ms. McCann's claims. If her ex was abusive, why leave the kids in his care? If she was so isolated and cut off from any money, how could she strike up a friendship with a man she felt comfortable enough to move in with, and grab enough money to go to Europe? After becoming so successful, why not hire a lawyer to insist on her rights? Her ex and her kids are in poverty. She'd have had a chance.

I've always felt that how an author behaves shouldn't necessarily affect his/her sales; but I'll be honest. I've never bought, or read, Sandee McCann's books; after this, I'm not likely to. Do you think any author's personal life should be a deciding factor for a buyer? Or are there levels? An author getting snotty on a blog is one thing- this? For me, at least, it's quite another.

Gad, We're Hard To Please

I read a review of Jayne Ann Krentz’s new one under her Jayne Castle name, Dark Light. This is on my TBR list, as are all of Ms. Krentz’s stories. The reviewer and many of her commenters stated that they liked her books in spite of the fact that they were all the same- the plot and characters do all have a striking similarity. But the stories are good enough that the familiar points are comforts rather than irritants.

I have to admit that’s the very reason I love her stuff; I pretty much know what I’m going to get, and her stories hold up after several reads. Does that say something bad about us as readers? We’re always whining that we want something new, new, new. More vampires! More vampires! Gimme, gimme, gimme! But, ew, now they’re all starting to bore me and –ooh! Look! A shiny new Regency!

We bleat about the death of originality. But then we turn around and reward sameness because it’s soothing.

What about you? Do you have comfort reads?

The Mighty HQ Strikes Again

I love the HQ rack at the bookstore. It's a treasure trove of Saturday afternoon entertainment.

Montana Royalty

Otherwise known as: Subtlety is for Losers!

Bodyguard to the Bride

Maybe they should have included the actual bride in this one. I’m wondering if he’s looking for her or looking for a dressing room.

The Night Serpent

Is ‘night serpent’ a new euphemism for ‘trouser snake?’

The Desert King

And what do you know…one I like. The internet picture doesn’t do it justice. Look for it in a bookstore. I’d like a different hairstyle on him, but this cover is really pretty. It looks as if it’s done in watercolors; misty and iridescent. A somewhat classier throwback to the old clinch covers, it looks as lush and exotic as the title.

What? I can be nice, too, y’all. Geez.

Friday...

Have a great weekend, everyone, and remember to hide the bodies!

Now That I Think About It, I Don't

(Image from Funnyjunk.com)

I recently read a story in an anthology that had a very familiar trope- the heroine at the altar with the Wrong Man, about to pledge her life away, when the hero bursts in and stops it.

That scene has always bugged me. If she's marrying the villain to save said hero, or sacrificing herself for the good of her family, I can take it. If it's a marriage of convenience, so much the better. That's one of my favorite historical romance scenarios- it ALWAYS turns into a love match, even if she had mad warm feelings for someone else before exchanging rings.

But what I can't take is a modern woman who actually goes to all the trouble and expense of a wedding- even hastily thrown together affairs are a bother- when she knows she doesn't love this guy. She didn't have an ill-advised trip to Vegas. She wasn't doing Jello shots and woke up with a new hubby. She, with a clear mind and clear intent, bought a gown and flowers and sent invitations to her family and now stands there, ready to give her life to this man.

Because she's pregnant? No. Because she wants to build a home with him? No. Because he turns her on? Again, no. Because she loves him? Absolutely not.

It's because the man she really loves didn't step up to the plate. For whatever reason, he fell off the white horse and so she falls back on Plan B. Or Man B, if you will.

I can't stand this. It's insulting. I've known some women who were desperate to marry, but to intentionally defraud some poor slob so she can say, "I'm MRS. Lovelywife, and I have more to go home to now than my cat, so suck on it you single slimes?"

That's not a woman I want to know, not a heroine I want to root for. And I don't care if Man B didn't really love her, and was marrying for the wrong reasons as well. These stories always try to let the heroine off the hook that way. This girl was ready to take meaningful vows one second and, because her true flame came bursting through the door yelling "I object," the next second she dropped the poor schmuck she was going to love, honor, and cherish and rode off into the sunset with someone else.

Quite frankly, if I was Man A, I wouldn't trust that woman.

On another page entirely, anyone up for some fun? Writtenwyrdd is having a contest to celebrate her 2nd blogiversary. Hop on over.

Devious Couplehood

Hope everyone had a great Labor Day, for those who celebrated. My hubby actually had the day off, which floored me. Working in retail means extra holiday pay, but never time off. With the buzz and busyness of back-to-school madness, we haven't had much wink wink nudge nudge time, y'know?

Stealing time with my husband has become just that- stealing. I feel like we're the teenagers trying to desperately to neck on the couch without getting caught. The kids are old enough now to stay up as late as we do, and with the computer and the PS2 in the same room the loveseat is... not as advertised.

We've smooched in the kitchen, but again, with two teens the kitchen is constantly under attack. "Get a room!" they cry. We reply that, technically, ALL the rooms are our rooms, but it doesn't seem to get us anywhere.

The shower might seem an interesting solution, no? I mean, saving water is all environmentally friendly and I'm all for that. When it benefits me. But we have reached the age, or girth, where the contortions required are an iffy prospect at best, especially terrifying when slippery.

So why not the bedroom, you ask? Seems like the perfect place, and there's a lock on the door. Simple:



SHE OWNS THE BED. If we toss her off, she'll wait until she thinks we're not paying attention and then she'll sneak back up again. One cold nose in a sensitive area is enough to throw off the groove.

If we lock her out, she whines and howls and scratches at the door. Easy enough to ignore if you're dedicated, but the lovely teenagers are now smart enough to know what's going on when the dog's banished to the hall, and they giggle. And giggle. And that? Buzzkill, folks. Major.

We seriously need a nice hotel room.

ETA: Anyone want to have some fun? Writtenwyrdd is having a contest to celebrate her 2nd blogiversary! Go over and check it out.