Thursday, May 8, 2008

Can We Just Agree That Disney Is Evil?


Not that they’re sacrificing virgins or anything, but…then again, maybe they are.

Disney has made its fortune on sweet young girls. Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Annette Funicello. Annette was the only Disney girl who missed the “I am a woman now, and so must show my cleavage. And my coochie.” From what I understand, Walt Disney was so concerned about the Mouseketeer image that he asked her not to wear a bikini in her beach movies with Frankie Avalon.

Walt, I wish your head wasn’t frozen and hidden in Disneyland somewhere. We could use you now. Maybe you could have spared us Christina Aguilera becoming a nasty girl, then a drag queen version of herself- seriously, do you think she had her hair done and the tranny makeup on when she gave birth? Maybe you could have knocked some sense into Lindsay Lohan. Or her mother Dina, so she would actually deserve a parenting award.

I won’t even talk about Britney. Or her sister.

And now Miley Cyrus. Let me say that I am not a prude; I enjoy the human body and would never dream of putting a fig leaf over any parts of David that Michaelangelo crafted. Though I do enjoy the Bernini better, but that’s another post. I have nothing against an artistic nude, or even a sensual semi-nude.

But I want to know at what point everyone in this process thought it was a good idea for a 15-year-old girl to take her clothes off. Miley says she was manipulated. Then your parents failed you miserably, honey. If any teens are reading this, lemme tell you now so you’ll know: if anyone, anywhere, anytime, is taking your picture and says, “Oh- just one more pose. Lose the shirt,” you should run screaming from the studio.

Supposedly the parents thought they were done, and left to take care of their other kids. Miley’s grandmother and handlers- handlers, yet- were there when photographer Annie Liebowitz decided to do the ‘classic pose.’ Good God, that woman would have lost her hair and possibly an appendage if my grandmother had been in that room. The handlers failed Miley, too. And grandma should be ashamed.

Even if they were not Machiavellian schemers who were hungry to see a skinny kid naked, Annie and crew missed the boat. You’d think that simply as a matter of good business, she would have insisted the parents be present for the shirtless pose. At some point, even artistic sensibility should give way to common sense. She failed Miley as well.

But the biggest villain? In my opinion, it’s Vanity Fair. You cannot tell me that the editors didn’t see this picture and think, “BINGO! This will cause so much controversy, we’ll make a mint. Oh, Miley’s reputation will be trashed and she’ll go through public relations hell, but we’ll sell a bajillion copies! We can just tell everyone that there’s only a tiny bit of skin on her back showing, so it doesn’t matter. If they start pointing out that a girl who’s got a slightly come hither look, tousled hair, and is covered with a bedsheet is too obvious to possibly be considered innuendo, we’ll hide behind the artistic card and blame it on her parents.” Vanity Fair failed, utterly.

I wonder what Walt would have thought of all this.

12 comments:

Missie said...

This whole controversy makes me very very happy that my girl is only almost three and has no idea who Miley/Hannah is. I would hate to have to explain it to her.

That said, I feel badly for Miley. Her parents should be fish-slapped...as in slapped with a cold raw fish.

Robyn said...

I know. I'm glad that mine is 16 and thinks Hannah Montana is stupid.

StarvingWriteNow said...

Granted, the parents should not have left her alone. But, she is also 15--perfectly capable, and certainly old enough, to say NO.

I like the old Disney movies, but as far as some of their corporate decisions... like wanting to raze a historic civil war battlefield to make a new theme park and killing off vultures for "expansion"... it doesn't surprise me that they would exploit kids either.

Bernita said...

I prefer the Bernini too.

Robyn said...

Oh, yes, Beth. My daughter would have not only said no but told them off while she did it. They're building a theme park on a battleground? Kinda asking for a poltergeist movie, aren't they?

Another Bernini fan! His David is so raw and real. You can practically see the sweat on his brow.

Manager Mom said...

I don't blame Vanity Fair. They're a business, after all. I wouldn't guess that they anticipated the photos would stir up quite this much controversy.

Far creepier is the one of her laying on her Dad. It is just...creepy. I don't know what else to say about it. And there was certainly no "parents in the other room" about that one.

At the end of the day, that family is very shrewd. They knew exactly what they were getting into, and they all know that Miley is not going to remain 15 and forever, and they are looking ahead to the next phase.

I believe it's called, "Trying to have one's cake and eat it too."

Manager Mom said...

P.S. I still hate Disney anyway, but for other reasons. :-)

Robyn said...

Hi, MM, thanks for visiting. Yeah, that one of her with her dad was a little strange.

But I reserve the right to disagree about Vanity Fair. I think they knew exactly what they were doing- they were perfectly okay in years past showing a naked eight-months-preggers Demi Moore on the cover, and that kicked up quite a firestorm!

Kimber An said...

We believe children ought to be allowed to remain children for as long as they are children.

People rage about child rape and yet they let their little girls run around in short-shorts with the word 'hot' across the butt. That's like letting your baby play with a rattlesnake and being shocked when it strikes and kills her.

There's an excellent book on child safety out there right now - PROTECTING THE GIFT. It's the most important nightmare-invoking book you will ever read.

Kimber An said...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

Robyn said...

I agree, Kimber. And Happy Mother's Day to you, too!

writtenwyrdd said...

I've gotta disagree about the Annie Lennox photo. It's an honor to get photographed by that woman and the photo is gorgeous. The hullabaloo is that she didn't have a shirt on; but she didn't show anything. She likely had that sheet against her chest the whole time. I don't think anyone failed her; they are setting her up for her post Disney career, though. All the squawking is just damage control for a miscalculation. And in any other country but our puritain-based and sex-obsessed (in a negative way) nation, it wouldn't have been a blip on the radar, I do believe.